A z w e t h i n k w e i z

Commandment 1 Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.
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Commandment 2 If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say; talk in your sleep..
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Commandment 3 Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
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Commandment 4 Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
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Commandment 5 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
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Commandment 6 Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
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Commandment 7 Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
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Commandment 8 Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
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Commandment 9 Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wives treat husbands like toxic waste.
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Commandment 10 A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
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Bonus Commandment ( Story ) A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled,
.
.
.
.
.
.
. "It really works!"



SMILE, IT'S TAX FREE!










Source: fropki.com

Do you think that your newly bought lingerie doesn't fit you well, or isn't really sexy enough? Well, the solution to the problem lies in mathematics, according to Japanese researchers.

The researchers have built a computerized 3D model of the female trunk that could help lingerie and other clothes designers make more sensuous, comfortable, and better fitting product ranges.

Kensuke Nakamura of Kyoto Institute of Technology and Takao Kurokawa of Osaka University said that identifying body shape components was critical for designing close-fitting products, whether underwear, everyday clothes, or safety garments.

However, conventional body measurements, photographic images, and silhouette do not provide complete three-dimensional data, with which modern designers could work to improve their products and tailor specific ranges to particular body shapes.

In fact, the study might also have implications for research into body image disorders and ergonomics.

During the study, the researchers developed a technique that allowed them to extract a woman's body shape components from 3D data, and then tied that to a classification of trunk shapes.

For the study, the researchers closely observed the bodies of 560 Japanese women, aged from 19 to 63, using laser metrology to map "control points" at specific sites on the women's trunks.

That allowed them to fit the above data to a generic 3D trunk model in the computer, and fit the control points to it to build up a database of body shapes, revealed the researchers.

The team later applied statistical analysis to the data employing principal component analysis and cluster analysis to classify trunk characteristics into five different types.

Each depends on slimness or otherwise, breast size and angle, neck type, and shoulder slope.

They obtained five classes of body shape that, according to them, represented the majority of trunk shape among Japanese women.

The researchers claim that their analysis will be helpful in producing clothes that fit better for size and shape, and in improving practical functional clothes used for body adjustment and posture improvement.

"We expect that the method will be applied to various customer groups and the results will be reflected in clothes design instead of the seat-of-the-pants approach of designers," concluded the researchers.

* Approximately 75% of human poop is made of water.

* Your eyes are always the same size from birth but your nose and ears never stop growing.

* It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

* The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.

* Your brain is more active during the night than the day.

* One human hair can support 3kg.

* Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

* The tooth is the only part of the human body that can't repair itself.

* An average human loses about 200 head hairs per day.

* It is impossible to lick your elbow.

* Your body requires 1000* 1500 calories per day just to simply survive (breathing, sleeping, eating).

* Every day an adult body produces 300 billion new cells.

* Scientists say the higher your I.Q. the more you dream.

* The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest it the male sperm.

* You use 200 muscles to take one step.

* Muscle cells live as long as you do while skin cells live less than 24 hours.

* A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

* Your brain operates on the same amount of power that would light a 10* watt light bulb.

* There are 5 million hair follicles on an average adult.

* The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razorblades.

* The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Brittanica.

* The white part of your fingernail is called the Lunula.

* There is enough iron in a human being to make one small nail.

* A shank is the part of the sole between the heel and the ball of the foot.

* The talus is the second largest bone in the foot.

* The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples.

* A 13 year old child found a tooth growing out of his foot in 1977.

* Your thumb is the same length of your nose.

* A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

* Dogs and Humans are the only animals with prostates.

* It only takes 7lbs of of pressure to rip off your ears.

Sa may asawa, kapatid, anak, kaibigan, at kamag-anak na OFW.
At lalo na sa mga gustong mangibang-bansa. ...
Nais ko rin ibahagi sa inyo, ang natanggap kong email na ito.
Maaaring makatulong ito upang lalong maintindihan ng bawa't isa ang
tunay na ibig sabihin ng pagiging isang OFW. Tiyak na may mapupulot
tayong aral dito.

Hindi mayaman ang OFW - We have this notion na 'pag OFW o nasa abroad ay
mayaman na. Hindi totoo yun. A regular OFW might earn from P20K-P30K
per month depende sa lokasyon. Yung mga taga-Saudi or US siguro ay mas
malaki ang sweldo, but to say that they're rich is a fallacy (amen!).

Malaki ang pangangailangan kaya karamihan ay nag-a-abroad. Maraming
bunganga ang kailangang pakainin kaya umaalis ang mga pipol sa
Philippines . Madalas, 3/4 o kalahati ng sweldo ay napupunta sa tuition
ng anak at gastusin ng pamilya.

Mahirap maging OFW - Kailangan magtipid hangga't kaya. Oo, masarap ang
pagkain sa abroad pero madalas na paksiw o adobo at itlog lang tinitira
para makaipon. Pagdating ng kinsenas o katapusan, ang unang tinitingnan
eh ang conversion ng peso sa dollar o rial o euro. Mas okay na magtiis
sa konti kaysa gutumin ang pamilya. Kapag umuuwi, kailangan may baon
kahit konti kasi maraming kamag-anak ang sumusundo sa airport o
naghihintay sa probinsya. Alam mo naman 'pag Pinoy, yung tsismis na OFW
ka eh surely attracts a lot of kin.

Kapag hindi mo nabigyan ng pasalubong eh magtatampo na yun at sisiraan
ka na. Well, hindi naman lahat pero I'm sure sa mga OFW dito eh may mga
pangyayaring ganun. Magtatrabaho ka sa bansang iba ang tingin sa mga
Pinoy. Malamang marami ang naka-experience ng gulang o discrimination to
their various workplaces. Sige lang, tiis lang, iniiyak na lang kasi
kawawa naman pamilya 'pag umuwi.

Besides, wala ka naman talagang maasahang trabaho sa Philippines ngayon.
Mahal ang bigas, ang gatas, ang sardinas, ang upa sa apartment. Tiis
lang kahit maraming Kupal sa trabaho, kahit may sakit at walang
nag-aalaga, kahit hindi masarap ang tsibog, kahit pangit ang working
conditions, kahit delikado, kahit mahirap.. Kapag nakapadala ka na, okay
na, tawag lang, "hello! kumusta na kayo?"..

Hindi bato ang OFW - Tao rin ang OFW, hindi money o cash machine.
Napapagod rin, nalulungkot (madalas), nagkakasakit, nag-iisip at
nagugutom. Kailangan din ang suporta, kundi man physically, emotionally
o spiritually man lang.

Tumatanda rin ang OFW - Sa mga nakausap at nakita ko, marami ang panot
at kalbo na. Most of them have signs and symptoms of hypertension,
coronary artery disease and arthritis.. Yet, they continue to work
thinking about the family they left behind. Marami ang nasa abroad,
20-30 years na, pero wala pa ring ipon. Kahit anong pakahirap, sablay pa
rin. Masakit pa kung olats rin ang sinusuportahang pamilya - ang anak
adik o nabuntis; ang asawa may kabit. Naalala ko tuloy ang sikat na
kanta dati, "NAPAKASAKIT KUYA EDDIE!"

Bayani ang OFW - Totoo yun! Ngayon ko lang na na-realize na bayani ang
OFW sa maraming bagay. Hindi bayani na tulad ni Nora Aunor o Flor
Contemplacion. Bayani in the truest sense of the word. Hindi katulad ni
Rizal o Bonifacio. Mas higit pa dun, mas maraming giyera at gulo ang
pinapasok ng OFW para lang mabuhay. Mas maraming pulitika ang kailangang
suungin para lang tumagal sa trabaho lalo na't Kupal ang mga kasama sa
trabaho. Mas mahaba ang pasensya kaysa sa mga ordinaryong kongresista o
senador sa Philippines dahil sa takot na mawalan ng sweldo.

Matindi ang OFW - Matindi ang pinoy. Matindi pa sa daga, o cockroaches
which survived the cataclysmic evolution. Maraming sakripisyo pero
walang makitang tangible solutions or consequences.

Malas ng OFW, swerte ng pulitiko - Hindi umuupo ang OFW para magbigay ng
autograph o interbyuhin ng media (unless nakidnap!). Madalas nasa
sidelines lang ang OFW. Kapag umaalis, malungkot and on the verge of
tears. Kapag dumadating, swerte 'pag may sundo( madalas meron). Kapag
naubos na ang ipon, wala ng kamag-anak.

Sana sikat ang OFW para may boses sa Kamara. Ang swerte ng mga politiko
nakaupo sila at ginagastusan ng pera ng Filipino. Hindi nga sila
naiinitan o napapaso ng langis, o napagagalitan ng amo, o kumakain ng
paksiw para makatipid, o nakatira sa compound with conditions less than
favorable, o nakikisama sa ibang lahi para mabuhay. Ang swerte, sobrang
swerte nila.

Matatag ang OFW - Matatag ang OFW, mas matatag pa sa sundalo o kung ano
pang grupo na alam nyo. Magaling sa reverse psychology, negotiations at
counter-attacks. Tatagal ba ang OFW? Tatagal pa kasi hindi pa natin alam
kailan magbabago ang Philippines , kailan nga kaya? o may tsansa pa ba?

Masarap isipin na kasama mo ang pamilya mo araw-araw. Nakikita mo mga
anak mong lumalaki at naaalagaan ng maayos.. Masarap kumain ng sitaw, ng
bagoong, lechon, inihaw na isda, taba ng talangka. Masarap manood ng
pelikulang Pinoy, luma man o bago. Iba pa rin ang pakiramdam kung kilala
mo ang kapitbahay mo. Iba pa rin sa Philippines , iba pa rin kapag Pinoy
ang kasama mo (except 'pag Kupal,Mayabang at utak-Talangka,) , iba pa rin 'pag
nagkukwento ka at naiintindihan ng iba ang sinasabi mo. Iba pa rin ang
tunog ng "mahal kita!", “ mekeni mangan tana”, “ kaluguran daka”, "day, ginahigugma tika." "Mingaw na ko nimo ba,
kalagot!", " Inday, diin ka na subong haw? ganahan guid ko simo ba". Iba
pa rin talaga.

Sige lang, tiis lang, saan ba't darating din ang pag-asa. Kung OFW ka at binabasa mo ito, mabuhay ka dahil ikaw ang tunay na BAYANI ng lahing PILIPINO!!!

Dearest All,

Please be advised that all Airports in Saudi Arabia have a new rule regarding departure and arriving Overseas workers carrying electronic devices. This has not been published to the public, but was implemented immediately. Please advise all your workers and friends who are traveling to K.S.A. All Electronic devices will be submitted for check up before immigration section.

Devices includes Cellular phones with camera and memory card, flash disks, external hard drive, Laptops / notebooks / pc, ipod, itouch, mp3 players with memory cards.

A special USB device will be inserted to the electonic devices that you are carrying. This special device can scan all videos and pictures, jpg, bmp, avi, etc, contents of your laptap / cellphones, and will be recorded to their main computer.

All devices with nude pictures in it will be confiscated immediately.

There will be no fines, and refusal will send you to jail and deportation. Laptops with pirated software’s will also be confiscated. This rule has been applied already and is being practiced in Riyadh, Dammam and Jeddah Airports. This is excluding Bahrain airport.

Kindly include this in your orientation with the workers and tell them not to bring any pirated softwares, movies, or nude pictures. Even data that are hidden can be found by this device, so advise them not to bring any at all. The laptap of one of my friends, a Sony Viao, which costs around 8T SR, was confiscated a few days ago, because of 1 semi nude picture that he forgot to erase.

NB: the special device was invented by a Filipino.

A story from the japanese embassy in the U.S

A few days ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Barack Obama...

The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Obama, please say 'how r u'.

Then Mr. Obama should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'.

Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'

It looks quite simple, but the truth is...

When Mori met Obama , he mistakenly said 'who r u?' (Instead of 'How r u?'.)

Mr. Obama was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
'Well, I'm Michelle's husband, ha-ha...'

Then Mori replied 'me too, ha-ha.. .'.



Then there was a long silence in the meeting room.

All that hard work sending out resumes has finally paid off and you've been called in for a face-to-face job interview.

Congratulations!

This is an important step in your job search. It's also your only chance to make a lasting first impression.

On the day of your interview, sweating palms and stomach butterflies are to be expected. But you can reduce your stress level by knowing some common mistakes that interviewees make when meeting with potential employers -- and avoiding them.

Here are 10 of the most common mistakes people make on job interviews:

1. Not taking the interview seriously: Don't make the mistake of thinking the interview is just a formality. Even if all the preliminaries have gone well, don't be cavalier and start imagining how you'll start spending your new salary. The biggest error you can make is to assume that, because you've gotten this far, the job is in the bag.

2. Dressing down: How you present yourself during your initial meeting with a potential employer is very important, and your physical appearance can speak volumes to someone who is meeting you for the first time. Even if you know that the firm allows employees to wear jeans, don't sabotage yourself by showing up to the interview in casual clothing. Err on the side of conservative and show up in neat, professional clothing, preferably a business suit.

3. Not showing why you're the best choice: Be familiar with the job description of the position you're interviewing for so you can illustrate how your experience, abilities, and strengths are in line with the company's needs. Many potential employers want to know why they should hire you specifically. Make it clear to them.

4. Being too modest: Failing to talk yourself up during an interview is one of the most self-defeating mistakes you can make. This is not the time for humility, so sing your praises! Don't be afraid to talk up everything you've accomplished, whether in school or in previous companies. This is your time to shine.

5. Talking too much: Be careful not to talk over the interviewer. This meeting should be a two-way conversation, and many interviewees cover up their nervousness by blathering on. Sit calmly and listen carefully, answering questions thoughtfully.

6. Focusing on the funds: Don't start talking about money too soon into the interview. Focusing on your salary requirements and previous salary history right off the bat may cause you to reveal too much. While the topic of salary will certainly come up, follow the interviewer' s lead. He or she may be saving that topic for a later conversation.

7. Trash talking: Even if you hated your former boss or felt you were treated unfairly by your previous employer, a job interview is not the place to launch into a litany of complaints. Don't go there. If you were laid off or fired from a previous position, be prepared with an explanation that puts a positive spin on the circumstances.

8. Failing to ask questions: Your résumé may be impressive on paper, but employers also appreciate a candidate who can ask several intelligent questions during an interview. Prepare at least 3 or 4 questions in advance to ask the interviewer. Interviews are an exchange of information, and not having questions to ask can reveal a lack of preparation.

9. Lack of enthusiasm: This is your first and sometimes only chance to showcase your personality. Don't walk in announcing how you're having a bad day. Be polite and upbeat. Show your enthusiasm for both the job and the opportunity to interview for it. And don't forget to thank the person at the end of the interview!

10. Forgetting the follow-up: Make sure to send a handwritten thank-you note or polite email to the interviewer expressing gratitude for his or her time and consideration. And while you don't want to start calling the company on a daily basis, a phone call checking in a week after the interview is perfectly acceptable