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New Dictionary
Posted by deadchest2 ,
Saturday, February 14, 2009
4:50 AM
CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
rolled in paper
with fire at one end
and a fool at the other!
MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
wherein
a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master
.
DIVORCE:
Future Tense of Marriage
.
LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either
.
CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
.
COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
a cake in such a way that
everybody believes
he got the biggest piece.
TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes
before marriage.
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read.
SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.
ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes.
ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions.
PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells youto go to hell in such a way that you actuallylook forward to the trip.
OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!".
PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY.
MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
FATHER:
A banker provided by nature.
CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught.
BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later.
DOCTOR:
A person
who kills
your ills
by pills,
and kills you .
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